Attention Wanna Be Filmmakers

I was going through my old files and found this letter I wrote for an ex-girlfriend / aspiring actress. She was pissed after a crap audition for a student film at UCLA. I had a good laugh.

Attention Want to Be Film Maker:

If you ever want to be taken seriously, I would suggest you follow the advice laid out below.

1. Take into consideration when asking people to show up at an audition that not all of them will know how to get to the specified location without explicit directions.
2. Make sure that you or an assistant is available by phone to give directions to those unable find to a building without a street address.
3. This is Los Angeles – take into consideration where potential actors should park once in the general vicinity of the specified location.
4. Make sure that you are on time, organized, and otherwise prepared to watch those auditioning.


By doing these simple things, it shows that you take your projects seriously. This instills a sense of ease in your actors and makes them want to work for you. Based on your performance tonight I seriously question your ability to tie your own shoes.

Unfortunately this kind of planning is common among students. So before the next person unwittingly drives around for thirty minutes with the problems listed above because of your dimwitted incompetence, I would ask you heed my suggestions.

My Top 5 Dysfunctional Romance Movies

For my first blog I wanted to write about something that might actually be a help for both men and women. And because of the impending approach of Valentines day I decided on to try and write out a list of the top dysfunctional romance movies. This is a list of movies that, while they usually fit into more into the romance genera than anything else, they show a side to romance little seen except in real life. Or, the inside of a psychiatrists office.

Thanks to the magic of movies women can enjoy these next films for the romance and the show of love overcoming even some of the strangest obstacles while men can enjoy them because they aren't covered in sugar coated, sappy crap.


And now for the list (in no actual order):


*Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

A great movie shot in an innovative way that explores a relationship from it's destruction to its beginning and it's possible restart. A great film showing how much relationships affect us.
And asks a deeper question; are some people just meant to be together?


* Twin Falls Idaho (1999)

A story about two conjoined twins, one of who falls in love with a girl that unexpectedly enters their lives. A trip into the deeper side of human connection. Brilliantly written and acted. Sometimes it can be a little heavy but guys that know this movie will impress their girlfriends or to-be-girlfriends with their taste in independent films.


*The Eel or (Unagi) (1997)

An amazing Japanese film about a man who, eight years after killing his wife, gets out of jail and opens a barber shop, his only friend the eel he took care of in prison. Until the day he meets Keiko, a woman that reminds him a little of his wife. Yes, it has subtitles. Just suck it up and read for a little while. I promise it'll be worth it.


*High Fidelity (2000)

What is it with men and this movie? I do agree that this film is one of the best romantic comedy's ever made with men in mind, but I've seen men react to this movie like I've seen some girls react to Dirty Dancing. It's crazy. It's a great exploration of one mans past relationships that end up giving him understanding to his most recent one.


*Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang (2005)

Okay, while this isn't technically a romance I have to say that one mans love for his childhood sweetheart does push most of the action. And with Val Kilmer is playing a private investigator named Gay Perry. This is also one of the funniest, wittiest movies I've watched in a long, long time. Don't forget to watch the blooper real, you'll be quoting those one liners for weeks. (Which incidentally is a great way to start having those cute little inside jokes with your significant other that makes you smile but pisses off everyone else because they're not in on the joke.)




The Lovely Ms. Bathory

3 under-appreciated horror films

Once again it is Halloween time, and what is Halloween without a horror film or two? So here are three suggestions that are worth watching even with the easily frightened of film watcher. These are films that are genuinely frightening without the devices that most horror films today use.

The Haunting 1963
A group of people are envited to a house to test if the house is haunted. There is no such thing as ghosts in an age of science and reason, right? No Blood, No Gore, and yet one of the Scariest Movies Ever made. Julie Haris stars and Robert Wise directs the essential haunted house film.

Eyes without a Face 1960
"A French chiller that set a benchmark in horror film making, with its unflinching depiction of horrific acts of surgery." A smart story, with just enough gore to send a chill down your spine. While by todays standards this film might be considered tame, the imagery will haunt you for days. (OK, I know, I should be shot for that line. Still a good film.)

Bucket of Blood 1959
This is a darkly funny tale of a beatnik waiter turned sculpter. Who takes art a little too seriously. If your a fan of the bar Mina in San Francisco, than this is not the film for you. Twisted and funny.

Idlewild

Sitting in the theater I realized that this film is the first true hip-hop/ black culture musical. It is fun, unique, nothing like I would have expected, and well worth the price of a ticket. See it before it dissapears.

Potter 4

Harry Potter does it again. This one is just as good as the last one. Even though the prizoner of azkaban has bettter direction, goblet of fire makes it up with a great story. This one more that any of the others makes me want to read the books. The down side to this film is that there seems to be so much to deal with that it feels as if you are just hitting the highlights of the story. It really feels abridged. But it is fun and exciting and overall worth checking out, because it will make you smile.

Walk the line

This was an absolutely amazing and fun film. Both performances by Reese Witherspoon and Jauquine Pheonix were the kind of performances that you think to yourself man, they really can act. The music is great. I take back every bad thing I every said about Johnny Cash's music. The one complaint I guess I have is that there is almost too much music in the film and that does not leave as much time as I would have liked for story development. But that really is a minor complaint since they did such a goood job of covvering 40 years of his life. This is something worth going to see.

Welcome to the you fuckin suck

Ok so this is a partial review of jarhead because I lost the enthusiasm and drive to finish it. So here is what I wrote and you can get the jist of how I felt with this film.


So I went to see a midnight showing of Jarhead on opening night. I was interested in seeing what Pat Jackson did with the sound. In any case, I can describe this movie in one word – convoluted.
I went in expecting an anti-war (lets make the marines look as mentally unstable as possible) kind of film. Thankfully this is not exactly what I saw, but the film starts exactly where the film ends with the main character hating the marines without any real resolution other that this character obviously shouldn’t have been a marine.
While this film had great performances from both Jake Gyllinhall and Peter Saarsgard. The motivation of Gyllinhall’s character seems somewhat misguided. It seems that his character joins the marines because of a woman. Once he is in the marines, there is no 1950’s WW2 propaganda glory (the same message of every anti-war film made in the last 40 years). The character seems to not really know why he joins and has no real pride in what he is doing. This comes across as if he has nothing better to do, or as his character says when asked why he joined the marines, “I got lost on my way to college.”
His character develops into an anti-authority wise-ass through out the film, except for the portions during his sniper training and his roll as a sniper in desert storm. The character takes a complete 180-degree turn as a sniper, in these scenes; the character has found a purpose and something that he is good at. He takes pride in the fact that he is a marine sniper. Now the filmmakers could be attempting to show that this as a way to visualize the cliché notion of how the marines break you down, and build you back up as a killing machine.
There are many scenes It failed to make any real point, it settled for happily dancing around the issues it wanted to bring up without committing to a point of view.
This film ultimately fails as a political film, and really is a story of a scared individual who has no idea who he is or what he wants to do, and blames the military for his trouble.

The Horror List

So here is another list, that is a little bit late for Halloween, but I think horror films should be watched year-round anyway. This will just help you take the edge off of the on-coming holiday season. Ok so here is a list (in no particular order) of horror films that no one should die without seeing.

Frankenstein (1939)
The Invisible Man (1940’s)
The Haunting (1950’s)
The Shining
The Thing
John Carpenter’s The Thing
Halloween 1 & 2
In the Mouth of Madness
The Prophecy
The Evil Dead Trilogy
Dead Alive
Bucket of Blood
The Pit and the Pendulum
The Devil’s Advocate
An American Werewolf in London
The Blair Witch Project
The Exorcist
Interview with the vampire
Freaks
Big Trouble in little china
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
Dawn of the Dead (1977)

Now I know that this list is fairly John Carpenter heavy - but the fact remains that all of his films mentioned above actually belong on this list. There are a few other directors that I am leaving out but I am trying to keep this list at an appropriate length. Of course leave any comments and or additions.

A First Request

So I was asked by a good friend to compile a list of really great westerns that no one should miss. These films listed below are what I think of when someone mentions westerns. People who say they hate westerns (more than likely) have never seen any of these films.

Please feel free to comment I could miss a few great ones. This is not in any specific order. Can you guess my personal favorite? Its not the first one.

Rio Bravo
A Fistful of Dollars
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
For a Few Dollars More
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance
The Searchers
High Noon
The Magnificent Seven
Once Upon a Time in the West.
The Shootist
Fort Apache
Unforgiven
Tombstone